your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
