Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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