Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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