How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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