If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
