it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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