I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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