According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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