plz talk dirty to me
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
