Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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