We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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