i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I would fuck him just for his dog
This toilet bowl is my home.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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