How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
