i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
