there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
