no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
