I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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