do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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