what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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