oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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