it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
