He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize