did you get engaged???
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
