If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
FUCK WHALES
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
