is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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