So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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