these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
