forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
