I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
