well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
