I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
