i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
