how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
