he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
