what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
