So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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