I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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