PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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