how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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