How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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