Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
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