fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
