just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
