so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
