She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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