And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
