yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
