I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
