we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
