When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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