Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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