Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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