yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
