I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
