i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
