oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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