she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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