Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize