i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
